i don't love you but i always will

walking away is the hardest thing
because with each step
i know it will get even harder to keep going
instead of easier.
my mind is focused on what i imagine is you,
only so few steps away from my retreating back
and it does seem easier to turn around
it seems easier to give in.
luckily, i've always been blessed with hindsight
and the benefit of the doubt
that i'm afraid i can't give you.
and i know you feel the same.
i'm being pulled so many ways i don't know
if the pieces will ever fit the same again
sort of like how, we don't fit right any more.
we used to be like a puzzle-
pieces made, one for the other. taking a step back
it was so much bigger. so beautiful.
and even if i wanted to turn back now,
my feet are unstoppable.
i will keep moving until i get so far away
that all that is left is a thought of you for every day-
so you know that even with the distance
i think of you.
so you know that i'm not being selfish
i'm cutting the strings that held us so tight
so i'm left with the severed lines.
so you can walk away without baggage.
so you can be left without any proof of how strong
how worn
how beautiful those strings were.
i'm not being selfish.