Today, I had the luxury of being happy. The kind of happy that makes your head spin and your face dissolve into a helpless smile. For fifteen minutes of my day, I lay face to face, inches away from my favorite little half-nephew and just stared. I don't mean in any wierd way, I mean in complete silence we just stared at each other, his little blue eyes digging deeper than anyone else, and I believe I have never felt that kind of happiness. It may seem cliche to those who haven't had the pleasure of understanding the way a child looks at you- in a way that can't be described in words because they don't know how to speak. Such simple happiness when you realize they've learned to tell you how much they love you with their eyes- without even understanding what love means. How they are so light and good because they know nothing of hurt. It's a kind of beautiful you wish you could describe in every way possible. I suppose it's how a mother feels, maybe, times one million. I felt complete in every sense of the world, to be still for fifteen minutes or a year- whatever he wanted, because I had no reason to move. I think this might be the kind of happiness people rave about and we call them crazy. The kind of happiness people keep to themselves because it is just so lovely. And love shows itself in a unique way for us all. You may be reading this right now and either a) be calling me gonzo or b) wondering where the heck this is coming from, but the answer is c) I understand there are kinds of love that hurt, and even happiness that hurts. But if you can take something like that from it, perhaps you should reconsider that it's worth it. Now this is a mouthful coming from a 17 year old who has hardly been off the front porch of what the world has to offer, but I'm pretty sure I'd rather it this way. So consider something today- whoever is reading this- can you imagine a happiness this complete? If you can, find it. Today. Tommorow. Whatever you like.
But find it.
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