Thursday, February 25, 2010

Friday, February 19, 2010

put it back on the shelf and let the dust settle in.

i am fully aware that if i don't do this tonight,
the effect on my future could be catastrophic (with serious side affects of laziness, chronic couch potato, etc)..
i spent the day today, in the (beautiful) studio of a real live photographer.
see, today i had the chance to absorb not only new information about my chosen career path,
but i had the chance to absorb people.
raw, unfiltered emotions unlike i've ever seen or dreamed.
when i say real- i mean the build up, the long climb from uncertainty to confidence.
i managed to take in one on one communication and while i exsisted in the room as a solid being, i chose more so to blend in with the wallpaper unless asked otherwise.
it was eye-opening. exhilarating.
capable of erasing all doubt from my mind that there is ANYTHING
i would want to do more with my life.
think of it- people look at it as "taking a picture"
but you are doing so much more. if you have a gift-
you are blessed enough to have the capability to capture someone
a person,
a heart and soul, a living, breathing being
in still-frame
so that years from now people can look at the image and say
"i feel like i know this person"
you are allowing people to exist forever.
and that in itself- is more than what we could ever ask for.
amazing.
- thank you. you know who you are. i am forever grateful that you even acknowledge my efforts to find a place in this artistic world people like you have created. emotionally, i've taken more from today than imaginable. thank you.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

for your entertainment.

we are all afraid to take a step over
the limitations we have accustomed ourselves to.
because it is easier
because it is safer
because there is no certainty of the outcome.
the habits,
the simple things we do,
are consistency, are fail-proof.
are the tiniest bit of hope
that we have even the slightest bit of control
over life.
so when life throws us a curve ball,
we don't know what to do with it.
we stand there, watching it come,
watching it happen-
like a slow motion movement with
disastrous effects-
we know what will happen next.
there are few of us that can see the curve ball
arcing towards us, and few
who can not only see it- but catch it-
and we are all guilty of throwing them.
so forget the game plan,
make one for the way you think.
but be prepared to change it,
when the odds bend in or away from your favor.
the players change,
we fall down,
and the rules aren't fair.
you win some, you lose some.
don't be prepared for an outcome-
be prepared for a change in the weather.
i guess what i'm trying to say is:
life.
it's one big game of baseball.
and you can't play it alone.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

♥ train.


hey, soul sister.

"well hey there"

i think i may be, fallin' for you.

'handsinmypockets

we go back like '1980 ♥

me & the tat-to-be

doodling in the car.

sunsets in the 'ville.

snow day resolution.

so a long time ago I decided I wanted to get a tattoo- if a worthwhile concept came up.
one rainy day, sitting in my adorable little building at work (IVC), I was admiring a tree in the front of the yard down at the main office. it reminded me SO much of my tree back in our yard home (which I practically grew up IN). our tree, from the front, looks like the tree of life a-la-apple-tree. its this gnarled, double trunk, massive thing that is so beautiful as a silhouette in the sunsets on summer nights. heck, its beautiful all the time.
anyways it's my favorite tree in the world, and i've always had a thing for trees.
i think they represent a lot of things (such as our roots, no pun intended)
and then the lightbulb went off. what are our roots? our family. our beautiful, slightly crazy but lovable kin.

thus, the tree tattoo came into existence. I imagined this gorgeous, full blossomed tree full of leaves. then I realized trees start out puny and THEN grow into something beautiful. I realized, of course, if I invested in a puny little tree on my back it wasn't going to magically grow.

so what if instead of it being small, I started OUT small.
the final tree concept:

*the roots, represent everything that ties me to the earth. (ie. home, and family) things I don't want to lose, but are so tightly bound to me I couldn't lose them even if I wanted to. being permanently etched on my back reminds me that even if I lose sight of these things they are ALWAYS there. .
*the leaves are my favorite part. I'm starting with 5. they each represent someone who means something to me/has played a huge role in my life. at the end of my life, I want a fully blossomed tree. this ties in with my issue of wanting to represent change/growing up.
*the "heart branches", if you look very closely, on the left side, there are two branches that faintly resemble hearts. or, the love of my family/friends.
*the tree itself is the tree of life. my life. my beautiful, blessed life.
*the two leaves at the very top are for my parents, who by all means, i owe everything to. I know a lot of kids or teenagers or even adults don't get along with their parents, and I also know people who don't even have parents anymore. I happen to have an amazing relationship with them, and I know it has defined everything about me. no, they haven't MADE me who I am, but they have made it possible for me to be who I am. therefore, they are the top priority in my life. I love you guys. Thank you just doesn't say it. (So i'm getting you imprinted into my skin.. kidding mom, breathe) did I mention they follow my blog? ♥
*the star in the top right corner, represents me (in a very non-vain way), its just my second-to-trees obsession has always been the sky. and like they say, the skies the limit and touch the stars. I plan to be right up there with them- and even if I'm not, I get to watch over my family AND in their eyes- I already am.


This is it folks.
I think the look of the tree itself is very musical.
which is my second biggest influence
coming from my gigantic musical family.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Again, full size it for better resolution!

a la time travelers wife.

I rreeeeeeeallly encourage you to click on this and make it full size
its very pixilated small. same for the rest.

yes, but.. do you know me?

happy love day.

the concept of hearts.
you can't make yourself better at love.
but you can make yourself a better person
you can make yourself open to love.
you can make yourself want to be open to love
but most importantly
you can make other people open to loving you

the concept of time
when i imagine my relationship with time
i see a patchwork quilt
thousands of tiny pieces, of strings
woven together to make something
so much deeper
we can push time, we can hold on to it
we can wish and want and wait for it
to come
but we can't make it happen

the concept of both
really they are one in the same
it all depends on what you make of it
how you deal with both
if time was pushing you ahead
if love was pushing you ahead
would you stand for it?
if time left you behind
and if love left you behind
would you wait for it to come back?
and if they both asked you to wait
to stand the test of time.
would you?

Saturday, February 13, 2010

we belong together.

"friends, lovers
or nothing at all"
just because it's right
doesn't always mean it feels right.
we reflect on the fact
that we are unselfishly giving.
that we are good people
that this is going to be better for everyone.
from the time we could talk, we've always been told
like in the movies,
"make the right choice"
usually followed up with the
i'm-hoping-you-know-what-you're-doing-but-if-you-don't-i'll-be-dissapointed face.
well this feels like the movies.
the world is moving all around us
and the ground may not be under my feet
anymore.
because the look in your eyes
promises me that i did not make the right choice.
stay strong.

you found me.

i found God, on the corner of first and Amistad.

thinking.

black and white lights.

freebird - lynard skynard.

gazing.

who is that girl.

who turned my blue eyes blue?

this is where our diligence has lead.

for once, i really don't have too much to say.
tommorow, is Valentine's Day. so tell that someone you love them.
heck, hug someone. 
tommorow, is the day of bravery. 
(shouldn't every day be like that?)
tommorow, i send you all my immense love.
this year, has been a year of nothing but love for me and my nikon's crazy adventures.
so hearts hearts hearts to you all
i love you. big time.
all year round though
i can remind you everyday, if you like.

it's firefight.

mystery girl.